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Hvorecký, Michal: Brand party (Brand party in English)

Portre of Hvorecký, Michal

Brand party (Slovak)

23. kapitola

Nastalo polročné najhektickejšie obdobie môjho života.
Neprestajne som cestovala z miesta na miesto. Ak vám zamestnávateľ platí business class letenky, vôbec vám neprekáža, keď sa kapitál v mene preniknutia na nové trhy zrieka požiadavky demokracie, aby nestratil voľný prístup k nových obchodným partnerom.
Navyšovala som rozpočet. Presviedčala opinion lídrov. Rokovala s desiatkami potenciálnych sponzorov. Schvaľovala jednotlivé zložky reklamnej kampane. Vyberala najvhodnejšie lokácie. Bookovala špičkových hudobných interpretov. Vybavovala barter s leteckými spoločnosťami kvôli prevozu hostí i účastníkov. Zabezpečovala distribúciu propagačných materiálov. Dohadovala produkčné otázky. Presnejšie povedané - podplácala som všetkých možných byrokratov.
Možno to vyzerá hrozivo, ale ja som akurát zadávala príkazy, ktoré som dostávala zhora. Všetci pre nás pracovali svedomito, pretože sme ich nanajvýš svedomito platili. Randers si ma v novej funkcii nevedel vynachváliť.
No napriek tomu zostávali v našom pláne zádrhely, ktoré bolo treba riešiť  čím skôr. Najlepšie osobne a ihneď. Neváhala som a rovno som si dohodla termíny rokovaní s najväčšími konkurentmi.
V slnkom prežiarenom Berlíne som sa na ulici Pod lipami stretla s organizátormi Love Parade.
Predtým som nevedela, že toto mesto stojí na piesku. Páčilo sa mi tam viac, než som čakala. Akurát kvôli reklamným slnečníkom som slávne lipy po celý čas takmer nevidela.
Prezliekla som sa za bohatú raverku. Natiahla som si tyrkysové tričko s bordovými flitrami a obtiahnuté zvonové nohavice z hrubého lesklého latexu. Moje nové tenisky vyzerali ako bežecké tretry zo šesťdesiatych rokov minulého storočia, ale s akýmikoľvek inými by som pôsobila nedôveryhodne. Okolo krku som si dala strieborný náramok s trojcentimetrovými ostňami. Mobil som vložila do strieborného obalu, aby nepôsobil nudne. Melódiu zvonenia som si stiahla z prvého miesta aktuálneho britského rebríčka tanečných singlov. Tá hitová odrhovačka znela, akoby ju tvorca na mobile aj produkoval. V ruke som držala čínsky vejár s bambusmi a pandou a ovievala som sa. Celé telo som mala doslova posiate špičkovými logami.
Sedela som vonku na drevenej stoličke so slamenou výplňou v kaviarni pre bohatých turistov v takzvaného ekonomického severu.
Iba po polhodinovom meškaní dorazil zlý DJ. Mizerný producent a mimoriadne úspešný promotér Dr. Motte.
Zložil si slnečné okuliare so žltými sklami, aby si ma premeral. Hľadel na mňa nechápavo a pochybovačne. Váhala som, či neodhalil príčinu, ktorá sa skrýva za mojím imidžom. Ale zakrátko sa nezúčatnene usmial, takže som naňho zjavne zapôsobila dôveryhodne. Zúfalo oblečeného človeka, ako je on, iste nič nepoteší viac, ako keď uvidí jedinca s podobným vkusom.
Z jeho oči som videla iba zreničky. Podľa mierne zapálených okrajov viečok som ihneď videla, že spáva málo a zle. Všimla som si, že ružovo presvitajúce nozdry má znútra obložené silnou vrstvou zlata, aby si ešte vôbec dokázal šnupnúť.
Prišiel spolu s dievčinou menom Uta. Označil ju za svoju asistentku, čo bol očividne len slušnejší názov pre dealerku. Obaja ma pozdravili úsečne a odmietli si so mnou podať ruky. Objednali si šampanské v lavóre ľadu, dve cappuccina a fľašu minerálky.
Povedala som si, že pôjdem priamo na vec. V coolovom oblečeni som sa nechutne rýchlo potila. Rovno som Mottemu navrhla, aby tohto roku zrušil Love Parade. Požiadala som ho, aby medialne silnou váhou svojej pochybnej osobnosti podporil Brand Party. Náhradou som mu ponúkla bližšie nešpecifikovaný astronomický balik peňazí. Schválne som bola stručná, aby som si reakciu mohla vychutnať o to dlhšie.
Vedela som, že Dr. Motte brával toľko chytrých drog, až celkom osprostel. Uta na to ani nepotrebovala party chémiu. Obaja zosobňovali takzvaný progresívny životný štýl más globálnej klubovej generácie, čo je pomerne zložité označenie pre intenzívne požívanie drog, nudu, životné sklamania a frustračné nákupy hodnotných veci.
Najprv sa Motte nadýchol a zvraštil obočie. Tvár mal znechutenú a ľadovo stiahnutú. Potom sa už-už chystal niečo vyhlásiť, no vzápätí zabudol čo. Odrazu povedal rázne nie, a následne sa ma opýtal, aká bola otázka.
Zopakovala som mu svoju ponuku dôraznejšie. O presnej sume som zatiaľ nehovorila. Usmievala som sa.
Dlho mlčal a fajčil. Bol meravo vysmiaty a vysmädnutý. Kto by pri takom množstve tetrahydrocanabinololu nebol? Vypil liter minerálnej vody. Počula som iba dych z jeho predklonenej hrude.
Potom konečne zdvihol čelo sperlené potom. Oči mu hlboko žiarili. Suché pery odhaľovali žlté zuby.
„Nie, to nikdy neurobím. Moja republika lásky nie je o peniazoch." Hovoril namáhavo ako každý, kto trápne klame. Medzi dvoma rozochvenými prstami držal cigaretu, ktorá prezrádzala jeho zmätok.
Viečka s predĺženými mihalnicami mu klesali pod vrstvou make-upu. Naniesol si na neplátkové kozmetické striebro od Christiana Diora. V žiare slnka ma ich odlesky oslepovali. Spakruky si zotrel pot zo zvlhnutých, strapatých vlasov.
Už ma nebavilo dlhšie čakať. Na strieborný kaviarenský stôl som vyložila svoj notebook. Oproti infraportu som nastavila mobil. Motte na mňa vyvaľoval od halucinácií zádumčivé oči.
Milujem elektronické bankovníctvo. Urobilo úplatkárstvo oveľa slušnejším. Autorizovanie platobného príkazu na ulici je ohromná vec. Keď v takýchto chvíľach zadávam heslo a robím pravým ukazovákom click, mám pocit, že naša spoločnosť funguje správne. Keď už dnes dokážeme vymyslieť najbezpečnejší a najdiskrétnejší spôsob prístupu k peniazom, znamená to, že sme dosiahli niečo neprekonateľné.
Aj takéto myšlienky mi vírili hlavou, pretože som sa vôbec neponáhľala. Začala som sa na Mottem dobre zabávať. Opýtala som sa ho, či vie, že o Love Parade písal Günter Grass. Myslel si, že hovorím o nejakej odrode marihuany. Bol zvedavý, či mu ju môžem zohnať. Mňa zasa zaujímalo, koľko miliónov stojí exkluzívny sponzoring jeho nekomerčnej akcie.
No Dr. Motte bol taký zhulený, že sa smial, aj keď som ho urážala. Nervóznou rukou štuchal do vecí porozkladaných na stole. Natiahol sa po kávu. Namiesto šálky a lyžičky však mimovoľne chytil klieštiky na cukor. Malátne nimi po stole kreslil čudné kruhovité znaky.
Pozornosť zbystril, až keď som mu na monitore ukázala sumu 7 000 000 mariek. Aby ho LCD lesk náhodou nepomýlil, vytlačila som mu ponuku na digitálny fotopapier.
Zmýlený sa zamračil a potom odrazu bľabotal o potrebe jednoty tanečnej scény i mladých ľudí na celom svete a o všeobjímajúcej láske. Vyjadril sa, že je nutné, aby sa všetci príslušníci našej generácie spojili, pretože sme jedna klubová mládež, jeden národ s jedným srdcom na jednej party a na jednej zemi.
Vážne som rozmýšľala, že mu jednu strelím.
Z výrazu mojej tváre zmeravel. Tváril sa, že ho napĺňa nesmierna horkosť. Chcel toho určite povedať ešte oveľa viac. Už mi bolo jasné, prečo svoje tanečne akcie zakončuje hodinovými príhovormi a na písomné vyjadrenie svojich infantilných myšlienok potrebuje vlastnú doménu. Ale zjavne zľakol, že mu nezaplatím.
Dlho uprene hľadel na sedmičku a nuly. O takej sume sa mu nesnívalo ani pri najlepších tripoch pre dekádou. Samozrejme, že som vedela, koľko stojí exkluzívne sponzorstvo jeho party. Desatinu. A on, prirodzene, vedel, že to viem.
Bledá tvár, vyčerpaná a bezkrvná, mu očervenela. Modré žilky na sluchách sa zvýraznili. Okolo pery mu zlovestne potrhávalo a pošklbávalo. Vráska medzi očami sa prehĺbila. Uprene hľadel na imaginárne obrazce, ktoré jeho ruka vykreslila klieštikmi v rozsypanom cukre.
Ute medzičasom prestala účinkovať dávka. Chvíľkové chtivé a blažené uspokojenie jej mysle vystriedal chvat a stres. Oči mala plné akéhosi neurčitého a podozrivého lesku. Myseľ sa jej zakalila. Pod sivou a namosúrenou tvárou sa črtala vyziabnutosť. Pod kožou na líci sa jej po celý čas chvel a mihal sval. Abstinenčné príznaky zapíjala ľadovým šampanským. Zaberalo to. Ale iba na stupňovanie nervozity.
Už som toho mala akurát tak dosť. Prikázala som Mottemu, aby mi ukázal údaje o bankovom spojení svojej firmy. Z počítačového kufríka som vytiahla dve kópie zmluvy o zrušení budúcoročnej Love Parade. Kontrakt mal štyridsaťpäť strán a stačilo ho podpísať na dvanástich miestach.
Do riadku s bankovým príkazom som pozorne vyťukávala číslo švajčiarskeho konta, ktoré mi spomalený Motte koktavo diktoval. Opantala som ho. Ako každý, kto v peniazoch vidí len rôzne typy práškov a tabletiek, očakával, že mu zaplatím v hotovosti. Vysmiala som ho.
Podpísal sa s pohŕdavým výrazom na tvári mojím korporátnym perom. Na požiadanie som u dovolila sledovať na monitore letmý okamih, keď transakcia prebehne úspešne a zaznie tiché pípnuzie.
Vydýchla som si. Rokovanie pre mňa malo príchuť márnivosti a uspokojenia.
Už som si myslela, že sa budem porúčať, keď odrazu Uta vyskočila zo stoličky. Oborila sa na Motteho. Nečakane mu umelým nechtom do krvi rozrezala líce. Potupne tvrdo ho udrela do brady. Vrieskala, že je zapredanec a scéna ho vyvrhne. Búšila mu do pŕs päsťami. Vyhrážala sa, že zverejní, čo urobil.
Najprv mi napadlo, že to majú pripravené vopred, aby ulahodili svojmu svedomiu a aj tento týždeň do sýtosti nakŕmili lačných novinárov z tínedžerského bulváru.
Práve som sa im chystala povedať, že predo mnou sa za to, že kráľovsky zarábajú na súčasnom životnom štýle mladých, vôbec nemusia hanbiť. Chcela som im vysvetliť, že každý, kto ich kritizuje, by na ich mieste robil to isté, ak by na to mal príležitosť. Je predsa všeobecne známe, že na generáciách X, Y a Net zarába ten, kto s niektorým trendom prišiel ako prvý.
Lenže situácia sa vyostrila.
Uta schmatla roh stola a prudko ním mykla smerom k Mottemu. Ten sa nezmohol na slovo. Chvíľu mu trvalo, kým v spomalenom mozgu spracoval, čo sa deje.
Celý servis sa s rachotom zosypal na dlažbu. Zarinčali črepy. Hrkotali lyžičky. Rozbíjali sa tanieriky a poháre.
Odrazu sa Dr. Motte vztýčil. Chytil si hlavu do dlaní. S neuveriteľnou nástojčivosťou zakričal, že všetko odvoláva. Osopil sa na mňa.
Takúto nevraživosť som teda po obojstranne výhodnej transakcii neočakávala. Rozzúrila som sa. Pozornosť návštevníkov i personálu sa ihneď obrátila na nás. Dokonca k nám zamierila skupinka zvedavých holandských turistov. Vo vzduchu som si všimla krepový oranžový tulipán, ktorý ich držal pohromade. Takýto vývoj som potrebovala zo všetkého najmenej.
Bleskovo som sa postavila. Motte mi rovno do ucha vrieskal, že som zradkyňa.
Nie som stvorená pre rozčarujúce a vznetlivé úlohy. No dnes prchkosť poznačila nejeden môj čin. Švihom som chytila Mottemu aj Ute ruky. V zlomku sekundy som im dlane zovrela ako vo zveráku. Vzápätí som im skrútila prsty takou silou, až zapraskali kostičky.
Nestihli ani len zakričať, a už znova sedeli na stoličkách, každý so svojou prenikavou bolesťou. Uta omdlela, ale výraz na jej tvári sa tým veľmi nezmenil.

Zanechala som ich medzi prevráteným stolom, porozbíjanými šálkami a porozhadzovanými vecami, ktoré ležali na dlažbe v chaotickom zmätku. S pokynutím ruky a so sileným úsmevom som sa rýchlo vzdialila z ulice Pod lipami i z Berlína.



PublisherLovci a zberači

Brand party (English)

Chapter 23

This happened to be the most hectic period of my life.
I continuously travelled from one place to the next. If your employer covers the costs of your business class tickets, you don't mind in the least that the capital renounces the need for democracy in the name of infiltration into the new markets, so that it would not lose the free access to new business partners.
I continued increasing the budget. I persuaded opinion leaders. I consulted with tens of potential sponsors. I signed and sealed individual elements of the advertising campaign. I selected the most suitable locations. I booked the top musicians and singers. I organized a barter deal with airlines for the carriage of guests and participants. I was in charge of the distribution of promotional materials. I had to sort out production matters. Put bluntly - I continually had to grease the palms of all sorts of bureaucrats.
Maybe all this sounds quite frightening, but I was just forwarding orders that I received from the top. Everyone worked for us very conscientiously since we also paid them in the most conscientious manner. Oscar Randers was very happy with me in my new position.
In spite of all this, there were still some obstacles left that had to be overcome as soon as possible. This had to be done on a personal level and at once. I didn't hesitate and immediately arranged the dates of meetings with our biggest competitors.
I met with the organizers of Love Parade in Under the Lime Trees Street in Berlin, which radiated with sunshine.
I didn't know till then that this city was built on sand. I liked it more there than I had expected. The only thing was, during the whole time I was hardly able to see any of those famous time trees, all because of the promotional sunshades.
I disguised myself as a wealthy raver. I wore a turquoise t-shirt with purple diamantes and a pair of tight flared trousers made of thick glossy latex. My new trainers looked like a pair of running shoes from the nineteen sixties, but if I had worn anything different, I would not have looked credible. I put on a silver necklace with three-centimetre long prickles around my neck. I placed my mobile into a silver cover so it would not appear boring. The ringing melody I copied from the current British dance chart number one. This flashy song sounded as if the songwriter had produced it on a mobile as well. I fanned a bamboo fan in my hand with a panda on it. The whole of my body was literally covered in top brand logos.
I was sitting on a wooden chair with straw padding outside the café for wealthy tourists from the so-called economic north. A bad DJ, a miserable producer, and the exceptionally successful promoter Dr. Motte, arrived just half an hour late.
Dr. Motte took his yellow shade sunglasses off, so he could eye me more carefully. He was looking at me with suspicion and doubt. For a moment I wasn't sure whether he realized the reason behind my image. Soon afterwards however, he cracked a witless smile, making it clear that he had sized me up to be a trustworthy person. Nothing makes a hopelessly dressed man, as he himself clearly was, feel happier than seeing another man with a similar flair for clothes.
I could only see the pupils of his eyes. Judging by the slightly inflamed corners of his eyelids, I immediately realized that he not only lacked sleep, but what little he got was of bad quality. I noticed that his pinkish translucent nostrils were thickly lined with gold, so that he would at least be able to have a snort.
He came with a girl called Ute. He introduced her as his personal assistant, which was obviously only a nicer name for a dealer. Both of them greeted me rather stiffly and refused my extended handshake. They ordered a bottle of champagne in an ice-bucket, two cappuccinos and one bottle of mineral water.
I decided to get straight to the point. In my cool outfit I was sweating rather profusely. Straight away 1 proposed to Motte to cancel the Love Parade this year. I asked him to use the heavy weight of his queer personality to influence the media, in order to give his support to the Brand Party. An astronomical undisclosed bundle was offered to him to compensation for his efforts. I talked very briefly on purpose, in order to be able to relish his reaction longer.
I knew that Dr. Motte used to take a lot of smart drugs, that it had made him stupid. Ute did not even need a party chemistry to be a perfect match for him. They both personified the so-called progressive life style of the masses of the global club generation. This is quite a complicated term to represent the constant abuse of drugs, boredom, life disillusionments and frustrating shopping sprees for valuable stuff.
At first Motte took a deep breath and frowned. His face took on a disgusted look and was ice-cold. Then he was about to say something, but in the space of a second he forgot what it was he wanted to say. Suddenly he blurted out a firm word of refusal and asked me what the question had been.
I repeated my offer in a more assertive tone. I didn't mention the exact amount yet. I was smiling.
He smoked and stayed silent for a long while. He was smiling numbly and was very thirsty. Who wouldn't be after using consuming such copious amounts of tetrahydrocanabinol? He drank a litre of mineral water. I could hear only the breath from his chest, which protruded forward. Finally, he raised his head with sweat covering his forehead. His eyes glowed deeply, and yellow teeth showed through his dry lips.
"No, I would never do that. My republic of love is not about money." He talked with difficulty, as people do who are not telling the truth. He held a cigarette between his two quivering_ fingers, which demonstrated his perplexity.
His eyelids with extended eyelashes were sinking under their heavy make-up layer. He applied strips of cosmetic silver from Christian Dior to them. I was being blinded by their reflection in the sunshine. With the back of his hand he wiped sweat from his wet messy hair.
I was getting bored with waiting. I put my notebook on the silver table. I set my mobile opposite the infraport. Motto rolled his eyes, pondering in hallucinations.
I just love electronic banking. It made the bribery appear much more decent. The authorization of the payment order in the street, what a marvellous concept. In such moments, when entering the password and clicking with my right index finger, I get the feeling that our society works just the way it should. If we are already able to devise the safest and the most discrete means of accessing money, it means we have attained something that cannot be outdone.
Those kinds of thoughts were also running through my head, for I was in no hurry at all. I started to enjoy myself by pulling Motte's leg. I asked him whether he knew that Gunter Grass also wrote about the Love Parade. Motte thought I was talking about a sort of marihuana. He wondered whether I could get it for him. As for me, I wanted to find out how much the exclusive sponsoring of his non-commercial enterprise cost.
But Dr. Motte was stoned out of his head, so much so that he laughed even when I offended him. He kept fiddling with things on the table with nervous hands. He reached for his coffee. Instead of his cup and teaspoon he unawares managed to pick up a pair of sugar-tongs. He was wearily drawing strange circular shapes on the table.
He sprang to attention only after I showed him the sum of 7,000,000 German marks. 1 printed the offer for him on digital photopaper so the LCD reflection would not confuse him.
Puzzled, with a scowl on his face he suddenly started blabbering on about the need for unity in the dance scene and among young people throughout the world, and about all-embracing love.
He expressed himself in the sense that it was necessary for all people of our generation to unite because we are one club generation, one nation with one heart, at one party and on one planet. - I seriously started considering slapping his face.
The expression on my face startled him. He pretended to be filled with immense bitterness. I am sure he still wanted to say much more. It finally dawned on me why his dance parties were
being finished by hour-long speeches and why he needed his own domain to put down his infantile ideas. But he evidently got alarmed that I was not going to pay him.
He stared at the figure consisting of a number seven and several zeros. He could not have dreamt about this kind of money even during his greatest trips a decade ago. Of course, I knew how much the exclusive sponsoring of his party cost - one tenth of my offer. And naturally, he knew that 1 was aware of it.
His pale face, exhausted and bloodless, went red. Blue veins on his face turned bluer. His lips were moving ominously. The wrinkle between his eyes deepened. He gazed intensely at imaginary images that he created with his hand and by a pair of sugartongs and scattered sugar.
In the meantime, Ute's shot wore off. The ephemeral greedy and gratifying feeling of her mind was replaced by anxiety and stress. Her eyes were full of some distant and suspicious gleam.
Her mind blurred. It was possible to see the gauntness under the grey and angry face. A muscle could be seen shaking and trembling under the skin of her cheek. She was quenching the symptoms of her abstinence with ice-cold champagne. It worked. But only to intensify her nervousness.
I had had just about enough of it. I ordered Motte to show me the details of his company's bank. I pulled out two copies of the agreement on the cancellation of next year's Love Parade from my notebook case. The contract consisted of forty-five pages and it only had to be signed twelve times.
In the line for the banker's order, I carefully typed in the number of the Swiss bank account, which the slowed-down and stuttering Motte dictated. I had bewitched him. Just like everyone who can see only different sorts of powder and pills in money, he expected to be paid in cash. I sneered at him.
He signed with an expression of contempt on his face, using my corporate pen. At his request I allowed him to get a glimpse of the monitor just when the transaction was successfully going through, and we could hear the quiet beep.
I sighed. The meeting had a flavour of profusion and satisfaction for me.
I already thought I was going to say my goodbyes, when suddenly Ute was up to no good - she sprang up from her seat. She thundered at Motte. Out of the blue she cut his cheek with her artificial nail, so much so that it started to bleed. She hit his chin shamelessly hard. She yelled that he was a traitor and that the scene would reject him. She thumped her fists against his chest. She threatened him that she would make his terrible deed public.
My first impression was that they had prepared the whole act beforehand to ease their conscience, and also to feed this week's hungry journalists from the teenage tabloid press.
I was just about to tell them that there was no need at all to be ashamed in front of me for making regal megabucks on the contemporary lifestyle of young people. I wanted to explain to them that everyone who criticised them would do the same in their shoes if they only got the chance. It is common knowledge though, that someone makes money on generations X, Y and Net, who comes up with a new trend first.
But the situation became a bit on edge.
Ute grabbed the edge of the table and pushed it wildly towards Motte. He was unable to open his mouth. It took a while before he could work out in his slow brain what was going on around him.
The whole table service rained down on the floor with a great noise. Glass splinters flew everywhere. Teaspoons clattered. Plates and glasses were getting smashed to pieces.
Dr. Motte rose abruptly. He put his head into his hands. He screamed with incredible persistence in his voice that he had changed his mind and wanted to call off our deal. He stormed at me.
I really didn't expect this kind of grudge after such a mutually profitable transaction. I went completely mad. At once, personnel and visitors started turning their attention to us. Even a group of curious Dutch tourists started moving towards us. In the air I noticed an orange crepe paper tulip that held them together. This kind of odd twist in the end was the last thing I needed.
In the blink of an eye I was on my feet. Motte was screaming his head off right in my ear, accusing me of betrayal.
I was not born to act in such bewildering and choleric roles. But today a fiery temper marked more than one of my actions. I grabbed Motte and Ute's hands. In a fraction of a second I gripped the palms of their hands like in a clamp. In no time I had twisted their fingers with such strength that set their broken bones crackling.
They did not even manage to scream before they found themselves seated in their chairs again, each one with a piercing pain. Ute passed out, but it didn't affect the expression on her face too much. I left them amongst the broken cups and scattered articles, which were lying all over the pavement together with the upturned table. I waved my hand and with a fake smile I briskly walked away from the street called Under the Lime Trees, away from Berlin.


Source of the quotationVilenica, 2002

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